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Taken from here.

Excerpts:

"Talk in positive instructions and not in negative instructions."

A good example of a negative instruction is “Do not play with your food.” Children and even us, adults, sometimes, respond better when we are told what we can do and not what we can not do. Instead, we parents should rephrase it in such a way that it becomes a concrete and positive instruction for the kids. We can always say, “Eat your food properly the way Mommy showed you.”

And since kids learn better by example, you won’t have to worry about dodging across the table to avoid being hit by your child’s baby food. Other examples would be, “Do not stay up too late.” Instead, we can always say, “Sleep early so you can have a good rest.”

Kids and teens need to know the rationale behind each and every single one of your demands: because you care and love them, and not because you are a horrible monster bent on making their little lives more miserable than it already is.


"Speak in a moderate tone."

The more a parent raises his or her voice at the child, the more resistant the child becomes to the parent's instructions.

No matter how much we detest the idea, screaming and raising your voice does nothing but show your kids how much they have control over you and of the situation. The more you become angry and anxious, the more they feel they are winning the battle.

Talking in a moderate tone tells them you are in control of the situation. Talking in a moderate manner tells them that no amount of whining or indifference from them can take you over the edge of your wits. Talking in a moderate, serious, firm but gentle tone tells them you mean business because you care.